We all know the popular verse "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate" Mark 10:9. I think that this sets the grounding for what God thinks about divorce. When you get married, I don't think he wants you to get divorced, especially since marriage is a covenant you make with you husband and God on your wedding day. You promise before everyone and God that you'll always do life with your spouse, no matter what. I also believe that you marry the person that God chooses for you... so he does join you together, but that's a WHOLE other blog for another time.
I think that there are only three reasons for divorce.
1. When one of the partners has committed adultery
"And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery" Matthew 19:9 (ESV)
The bible says that if someone cheats, then you can get divorced, BUT God also teaches us to forgive. I think that if your partner cheats on you and shows real remorse, wants forgiveness and really wants to work on your marriage with you then you should give them another chance. Go to counselling, figure out the problems and find solutions, learn to communicate again and put in effort as you try to learn to trust them again. If this does not work and they cheat again I think that it is okay to get a divorce.
2. If your spouse is not Christian and leaves you
"But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace" 1 Corinthians 7:15.
God says it's okay to let your spouse go if they don't believe in God and are not walking with Him, but it is not okay for you, the believer to suggest getting a divorce. I think he says this because I believe that we can't change someones mind to stick it out and work on a marriage, only God can do that. Only God can change the heart and attitude of someone not us, and if your spouse doesn't believe in him or are walking with Him, I'm not sure if they will be open to change. I think in this case, we should let them go, entrust them to Him and let him work and hopefully they'll see the light and start believing in him.
3. If there is abuse in the relationship
I don't have a biblical grounding for this, but I believe that God is a good God and he won't want us to stay in a marriage where we are getting physically, mentally or emotionally abused. I believe that you need to get out of that situation as fast as possible - but divorce should be a last resort. I believe that you still need to work on your marriage, the abusive partner should go for counselling, as well as the person getting abused. I think separation should be the first option while you get help and if this does not work then divorce can be an option.
Reasons when divorce is not an acceptable option
We kind of live in a world where people give up easily and want instant gratification. Just because things are tough and you are not getting a quick fix to your problems does not mean it's time to give up and get a divorce. Neither as silly excuses like "I fell out of love", "They'll be better without me" etc. We don't fall out of love with people - we stop choosing to love people. We wake up everyday and choose to love someone and then we do it.
For me personally, divorce is not an option. I am committed to working on my relationship and soon to be marriage no matter how tough it gets and to always keep the communication lines open with Dave. I won't just give up because it's difficult. I'm willing to try everything possible to fix and work on things when it gets tough.
xKx
No comments:
Post a Comment