Because every princess needs a flower crown

On Saturday I had the monthly tweens gathering at my house.  We've been working through Journey to freedom: A bible study on identity. Each month we tackled a new chapter in the book and discovered more about who God says we are in Him.

This week I decided to sum up the four chapters and do a brief recap because some of the girls had missed a few of the Saturdays. We discussed how God has made us all differnt and beautiful. He's given us each different talents and personalities to do what he has made us to do in life - kind of like when we decorate cookies. We all used different things - not one looked the same. We then make flower crowns with them because all princesses need a crown...

Here are some pictures...

 Meeting with these girls once a month is SO much fun!

xKx

....and then we needed an ambulance

On Monday morning I faced one of the scariest moments of my life. David called me and was like have you heard from your mom. I was like, no. He then said she just called me and asked me to call an ambulance for your dad, he's struggling to breathe.

My brain instantly jumped to "HE'S GOING TO DIE" and everything in me went into total freak out because daddy's are supposed to be indestructible.... right?

The thing that added to this freak out is that over the last year my dad has gotten rather frail and well... old. He's also been somewhat sick, not like sick - sick but the old people kind of sick. When he went to the doctor at the beginning of the year we were told that he didn't have much longer to live so when I get a phone call like "we need an ambulance for your dad" - I go into freak out way to quickly.

David fetched me and we went to the hospital to find out what happened and how my dad was. When we got there he was sitting drinking tea - but was rather pale and very short of breath. He was supposed the be wearing the oxygen mask. We spent some time chatting to him before we were booted out of the emergency unit by the nurses. When we arrived there later he had no real answers and looked quite frail. David's mom, who knows just about everyone in the medical industry was able to get a nurse to look in his file and feed us some information. Which confirmed he was not dying. He just had a lung infection and the warfarin levels in his blood were toxic. This somewhat calmed my tattered nerves down a bit... but I was still super freaked out.

We went to visit him at the hospital last night and he looked a bit better - still frail but he was breathing a little bit better and was more chirpy, which is a good thing.

Deep down I am still quite freaked out by all of this, even though he's doing better it's still scary seeing my dad in hospital. It also drove the reality a little deeper into my heart that he's not going to be around forever.

xKx

He Calls Me Beautiful

A while ago I posted a blog titled, "When did it become ok to tell someone they've gotten fat?". The whole thing of how people call us fat or ugly has really been bugging me lately because that is not who God says we are and it makes me REALLY angry how people and their comments steal that away from us. Before I go off on a tangent let me get to the point of this post...



A while ago when Terri, my best friend was leading worship she asked us to think about  what makes God sad. I clearly heard a voice say to me "when you call yourself fat" I quickly brushed it away and was like whatever and carried on with worship.   The next morning during my quiet time God  quietly nudged me on the shoulder and was like, so about yesterday... and I was like really must we go there?  If I remember correctly I think I was at my lowest when it came to my self image. I really and truly believed I as fat and ugly all because of a few comments I had heard and taken to heart and when my pants got a bit tighter the lie took root. I can't even explain how it got so bad, but it really felt like I was in a black hole. David would tell me I'm beautiful and I wouldn't believe him, I'd even get annoyed he was telling me this because I was like don't you see what I see? I had friends who told me that I was pretty but it never helped because the belief I had put in the lie was so much greater and all consuming. When God gently nudged me that Monday morning it was kind of like the light shone into the dark pit and I started to let God in... and He really did some work. He went to that place in my heart that was hurt and he beat up the lies in my head and I chose Him in the situation. I chose to let Him in and I started to listen to who he says I am and what he says about me. I'm not saying that everything is good and well now and God has fixed everything, what I am saying is that the battle is a lot better than it was. I'm no longer in a GIANT pit of darkness and on most days I can look in mirror and not have negative thoughts, but it's still a choice when I see myself in the mirror... am I going to let that negative thought enter or not?



 When I let God in He was gentle and told me to stop thinking all the negative thoughts all they do is feed the darkness in your head. This was a lot harder than I thought, but in that moment I chose to not think like that anymore. Some days I get it wrong and have a "fat day/negative thinking day" but I think on a scale of  10, I'm getting 6 out of 10 at the moment.  When I start heading back to the  dark pit I just  remember all the things God says about me and I look it up in the bible, as well as say and pray it to chase the negative thoughts away.




xKx

Purity

Purity  is something that I find really important because God calls us to live holy and pure lives. I read an article now that really challenged my view on purity - especially as a  leader to the tweens I meet with, as an accountability partner and friend.

When people speak of purity it immediately get's linked to sexual purity. It's all about the "don't have sex before marriage", but actually purity goes so much deeper than that - it's about your whole life. Purity is about living a life that honors God in everything you do. Elsa, the director and founder of More to be wrote this article on purity http://www.moretobe.com/2015/01/purity-message/

I was challenged by it because I also lived in a space of purity is about keeping yourself pure before marriage. How it's not about pushing boundaries or doing things that will rob you from what is intended for marriage. David and I put a lot of emphasis on purity when we were dating and engaged. We had solid boundaries of not staying over at each others house later than a certain time, we never stayed the night at each others house, we never touched each other in certain ways and all of that. We wanted to protect each others hearts and minds and to not steal from the intimacy that was created for marriage.  After reading the article I was like, "how I am I still maintaining purity in my marriage now that we are married?" Just because David and I are married doesn't mean we can throw caution to the wind and striving for purity gets cast out the window.

I think it's the whole thing of keeping the marriage bed pure. The obvious one is that we don't commit adultery. Some other ways I think I can do this is by honouring David for who he is and by keeping him in spot two in my life, after God and building intimacy with only him by sharing life with him and not other men. Healthy barriers and friendships need to be put in place with other men. I also think it's about what we watch together and individually, as well as what we talk about  to keep our hearts pure.

The second thing that challenged me was how am I living a life that is pure that shows an example to other people, especially the tween girls I meet with. Yes, I can tell them not to have sex before they are married  or to not do a whole bunch of things with boys and they may choose to listen. I certainly never listened when I was younger and I kind of wish I had someone to look up to, to see what it really looks like when you wait.  Luckily God gives us grace and fixes what we break, but I want to live a life with my husband that  really shows how it is worth to wait for intimacy on all levels with one person in marriage and what it's like to live a life that honors God.

xKx

Mid- Week Adventure To Franschhoek

Yesterday was a top 10 day in my books. Terri and I went on a mini adventure to Franschhoek  to do some chocolate tasting at Huguenot Fine Chocolates.

The tasting and demo started at 11am. I thought we were only going to taste some yummy chocolate but besides the tasting we were also given a brief history of chocolate, told how it's made from cocoa bean all the way to slab form, as well as told the difference between dark, milk and which chocolate. We were then shown how they make their chocolates, as well given quite a few tasters of dark. milk and white chocolate. When the demo and tasting was finished we were given two chocolates... and we stopped in the shop to buy some more. I totally want to do this again!

The rest of the day was filled with walking along the main road, guessing why the WHOLE of Franschhoek was wrapped in red, white and blue fabric, finding a HUGE teddy bear , eating a yummy lunch and getting lost on the way home. 

I love spontaneous days off filled with adventures to try new things, especially when I get to share it with a favourite person in my life.

xKx

Is banting more expensive? One month later...

About a month ago I started following the LCHF lifestyle to find out if it really is more expensive then normal eating, http://alittlebitofcrazi.blogspot.com/2015/06/is-banting-affordable-for-average-south.html

This week we looked at our finances for the month and we noticed that we spent R1 000.00 more on groceries last month. I was expecting it to be more than this. The things that pushed the amount we spent up was becase we were buying way more cheese, berries and eggs, as well as buying things like cream and crème fresh which we never bought before.

Apart from spending more on food, our eating out budget decreased quite a lot. We made an effort to do this but also it's hard to find banting options and when you do it's normally the most expensive option on the menu. From this month onwards I shall allow myself a treat and I'll order the hamburger or that pasta dish...

I have seen the benefits that everyone talks about, I am less hungry and I can concentrate and stay focused for longer. I have way more energy than before and I am sleeping a lot better than before. I still crave carbs - I was told I would stop craving carbs and not even want them. That is not true - or hasn't happened yet.

In conclusion to my banting experience and if I will continue with it... My honest answer is yet  - but as an adapted "banting" version. Let's call it a lifestyle change. I'm not going to eat refined and processed food and I am going to eat the good fats I have been eating and the good stuff found in fruit and vegetables. I'm also going to have some pasta and bread every now and then and I'm gong to have some cake as a treat. I think it's more important to have a balanced diet with exercise and be healthy.

xKx