I have moved...

Hi everyone,

I've decided to move my blog to http://www.bodmer.co.za/

Please come and visit me at the above link to read about my thoughts, random adventures and cooking experiments.

xKx

Gardening Goals

Our vegetable garden has been SUPER productive over the last few weeks. Not only has our spinach bounced back but also a million tomato plants have decided to grow. We also made some exciting discoveries this weekend when I took a peek at my veggie garden.

 

This weekend I was surprised by finding a baby cauliflower growing in our garden. We planted the cauliflower seeds FOREVER ago. I would say about 6 months ago. I also forgot which plants were the cauliflower and which were the broccoli.  It was one of the greatest things EVER to find the planting finally making a cauliflower.

 

Another exciting discovery in our garden was finding our lemons, which are HUGE, are finally turning yellow. This is MOST exciting because they actually haven't been stolen off our tree yet. There's a lady where we live who thinks our garden is communal property and comes and helps herself to our lemons. She's been away for a while so our lemons have lasted and we actually get to see them. YAY!

I've really been enjoying our garden lately. We've been diligently maintaining it every two weeks or so and it's really paying off. We spend an hour or two trimming bushes, raking and pulling up weeds every second Sunday. I no longer look at the garden and go, "oooh we need to weed" or "ooooh I need to give the garden some love". Now I look at it and go "Oh, how I love my garden." This is exactly what I did this morning as I walked outside and looked over the garden as I walked to the gate. This feeling also makes it seem like I am finally reaching, well getting closer to reaching my gardening goals in life.

xKx



YAY for 22 Months!

I've had the privilege of doing life with the awesome, good looking and pretty much amazing human-being for 22 months today.

 

I'm really looking forward to continuing on this journey we get to walk together with God. I'm pretty sure He has something awesome in store for us.

 

xKx

God's Mirror List

For the past two weeks we've been working through a two part sermon by Louie Giglio called The Man In The Mirror

The thing that really stuck out to me from the whole sermon series is how we really need to start thinking about ourselves in the same way that God sees us. Louie used a mirror in the sermon and wrote a list of things of how God sees us and what He says to us when He looks at us. 

God's Mirror List

1. I love you
2. I'm grateful fro you
3. You're a rare and beautiful treasure
4. I forgive you
5. I'll hold you to high standards with appropriate amounts of grace and mercy
6. You have a special calling
7. I'm cheering for you, and I believe in you.

When we really believe that this is what He says to us about ourselves it makes it a whole lot easier to believe that you are here with a purpose and that you do matter. You're also able to be used by God to tell others that this is how He seems them as well. We become a channel....

For me, who has self worth issues it really does help to see this list every day and then say the things to myself to remind myself that this is how God sees me. I also think I should change how I see me and see myself the same way. This is the hard part - but I'm open to doing it.

My favourite one at the moment is 7 - I'm cheering for you. So often we get so despondent and feel like no one notices us or says "well done, you did great", but this really is not true. God is our number one fan. Every single day He's standing there, with a bunch of angels cheering us on, telling us we are great and we matter. How cool is that!

I think the challenge is putting this into practice, but I more than willing to change my current thought patterns to mirror more of Gods.

xKx

Don't go to bed angry

At our wedding reception we placed "Advice for the bride and groom" cards on the tables for our guests to fill in. I can probably say that the most common/most repeated piece of advice we received was to not go to bed angry.  The advice is biblical and comes from Ephesians 6:26-27 "And don't  sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil." But what does this mean?

I think that it does just that - if you don't sort out whatever is making you angry with someone then the devil will have lots of  fun filling your mind with horrible thoughts, turn your heart hard and make you bitter about the whole situation, as well as cause even more hurt and pain in your life. The devil kind of reminds me of a rusty fishing hook. Once you get that stuck in you it creates a painful,  gross and infected sore in you. When I was thinking about this earlier - I was like "sjoe! - I totally don't want that in me"

I can honestly say that I am not a "let's talk right now and sort it out right now" kind of person. When I get angry about something I need a couple of hours to cool down, become less emotional and then come back with a well thought out solution or way to explain how I'm feeling. In reality this can't always happen - especially when you don't know when you will see the person again, so sometimes it's best to take a deep breath and sort it out.

In other words, I don't think this verse is saying that we should sort things out with people as soon as they happen and not wait until another time to sort things out. You may tell yourself that now may not be the right time - but in all honestly I don't think there will be a "right time". I also think a lot of hurt can be prevented if you sort it out now. Which is also what I think the verse is saying - instead of giving the devil a chance to turn something poisonous and create havoc, rather stop him in his tracks and fix whatever is causing anger or hurt with someone.

I've kind of been learning this in my marriage. When David and I leave things that have upset us, we often have a much bigger argument than if when we sort it out straight away. I also find that if I don't sort it out the same day I get more angry and even bitter about the situation and then I'm even more illogical in my argument. I also find that if we sort things out sooner we're able to carry on with life with no undercurrent or disconnection between us.

God created us for relationships and to have connection with people, why let some anger get in the way and cause disconnect. I think he knew what he was thinking when he inspired the writer of Ephesians to write this verse. If we give the devil a foothold in our relationships he will take advantage and destroy all connection which could end relationships.

Don't wait until tomorrow to fix something, rather sort it out as soon as possible. If it's not possible to do it right away as it happens because you're about to walk into an event of some kind wait until the first opportunity to do it straight after - don't let it fester and get worse.

xKx

 

James and Jojo got married

Yesterday we go got to share in the start a new chapter for James, David's younger brother and Jojo, a friend of mine. They celebrated a friendship that changed from friends, to good friend to husband and wife. I am super excited to see how God uses them as a married couple in this new chapter and adventure as He fulfils His purpose through them both individually and as a couple.

xKx

I started studying again

... so this kind of happened again.

I decided to do an online digital marketing course this year. It's a 10 week short course through Getsmarter. It was kind of a tough decision to make regarding what I wanted to study as there is so much to choose from, but I decided on this because deep down I've always wanted to study digital marketing and as an added bonus my company offered to pay for me to do the course.


How it works is that each week a new module is released and you work through notes, (a lot I might add), and a mini video lecture before completing an assignment, as well getting involved in a group discussion on the topic.


The course started last week and I'm really enjoying it, I feel like I'm using my brain again which is a good thing. The only hard thing is working in the evenings when I am super tired. I really don't know how people do it, or how I did it when I was a student in round one and two. Even though this taking a lot of "I can do this" and "it's another late night" I am super excited to learn everything that I'm learning.

xKx

Marriage is NOT about You

A couple of days I was chatting to someone in the office about how they sent me a blog post before I was married titled "Marriage is not for you" and how I had been reminded of this that week, "A little lesson I learnt this week..."A little lesson I learnt this week... " .


This morning as I was scrolling through Pinterest and procrastinating I stumbled on the post  - http://www.arkinthedesert.com/marriage/the-best-marriage-advice


I recommend giving it a read, it's pretty long so grab some tea and a cupcake before starting. It's one of the best pieces of marriage advise I have ever received.

xKx

Who knew you could still experience peer presure at 29?

On Saturday it was a friends kitchen tea and bachelorette day. We planned to have champagne for the kitchen tea and then later we went out for dinner with her, which also involved cocktails.


During the kitchen tea, one of the bridesmaids made a comment about getting non alcoholic and how no one drank it. I said to her that there were one people drinking it and I was one of them. She then asked why I wasn't drinking and I told her I don't like driving after a drink. She then went on about it's only one drink and I was like, no, not for me. I get affected by it straight away. She then said there's still tonight. I then said, I also won't be drinking then. Which then led to more comments about taking it easy on the water later. I just rolled my eyes and walked away.


Much later in the evening when we got to the restaurant for dinner, more chips were made about me not drinking which was ok to a point but the thing that really bugged me was how the waiter jumped on the band wagon when I ordered a virgin mojito. He went on about having a drink because it's the 'bride to be's' last night of fun etc and I was like, "that's her not me". When he bought the drink he said, "this it for the virgin" The table went a bit quite, I took my drink and said, "I'm married there would be something wrong if that was true". He looked at me and said, "that never came out right."


As he walked off, I was like who do you think you are trying to pressurise people into drinking. He doesn't know the my story or why I was choosing not to drink. I then though about how many other people go out with the intention not to drink but then because they don't want to be lame, or the odd one out they end up having a drink and then 'boom" they're in an accident.


This whole experience made me feel a little like the odd one out amongst the bridesmaids, but also took me back to my young adult days when I would give into peer pressure and have a drink because I never wanted to look lame. It's so silly to think about it now, but all those feelings came rushing back to me and I felt a bit like a loser for a brief second. I then shook my head and thought, I'm a powerful person and I'm taking responsibility for myself and I choose not to drink.


I really never thought I would still experience peer pressure at the age of 29... I thought we were past it.

xKx

A little lesson I learnt this week.

David and I have been married for almost 1 year and 9 months - WOW! The time flies! I think we need to have some champagne and celebrate 1 year and three quarters.... but let me get back to the point...

One of the biggest things that I have been learning in my marriage is how it's not all about me and what I want. Its more about showing grace and loving like Jesus which is unconditional.This lesson kind of hit home this week. This week has been kind of rough in the sense that it was hectic because I started a new course and had quite a bit to still prepare for a friends kitchen tea when it came to making décor and getting it printed. Somewhere in all the prep for the kitchen tea I lost sight of what it was really about and started to focus on getting everything 100% perfect. When things were not going as planned I kind of snapped and was not the greatest person to be around - especially when I showed very little grace to David when he had taken time off from work to get stuff printed for me and to help me design the things I wanted to make etc. This desire to get everything right didn't really help when I then started seeing everything through the glasses of nothing is right in the world. I really can be nasty and ungracious when I wear these glasses.

Last night after another rant of nothing is working how I want it to work and finally completing everything except the baking part for the kitchen tea and most of the second unit of my course, I kind of had a revelation. I realised that I had been an absolute cow towards David this week. I had been unappreciative of how much time he had spent helping me. Not only had he printed stuff,  helped me design stuff, cleaned the house and helped me with my course he also put up with all my moaning and hysteria when things were not as I wanted. He also sat up with me while I worked and then spent time listening to me before we went to sleep so we could connect in all the crazy. I was treating him like he was the biggest jerk on the planet this week instead of being grateful that I married someone who supports everything I do and is willing to help with it. After I realised this I went to David and apologised to being so mean this week and for loosing sight of the bigger picture by focusing on everything being perfect.

When I got to work this morning I saw a link to a post called "The best Marriage Advice I Ever Heard" by The Dating Divas and it kind fit into what I had gone through this week. I read the article before, but it was such a good reminder to read today. Basically the advise this lady heard at her kitchen tea was to remember that she hadn't married a jerk... which is kind of what I needed to be reminded of this week. After I read this article I sat and thought about it and then prayed about my heart. I then thought about how I am really grateful that I have married someone who just kept on loving me and showing me grace this week even though I was pretty unlovable and probably needed a smack.

(Noo, if you are reading this thank you for being the most amazing Jesus shining person I know - who kept on being SO gracious towards me and still loving me even though I was pretty impossible this week!)

xKx



Family Weekend Away

We went on a mini family holiday with my mom and brother this past weekend. On Friday afternoon we all piled into the car and headed for Franskraal.

As soon as we arrived we headed for a swim in the ocean - the water was FREEZING and the late afternoon air is no longer as warm as a month ago, which is the small tell tale sign that Summer is almost over. David and my brother were hesitant to jump in to the ocean but after explaining that you can't go on holiday by the ocean and not swim they willingly participated it the swimming part.

Saturday was a bit gloomy weather wise, but we still packed a picnic and headed for Stanford to find the Saturday market before heading to the Klein River Cheese Farm. Once we got to the farm we tasted some yummy cheese before feeding the many farm animals. A highlight for me was feeding a cow and seeing the baby goat.

Lunch on Saturday was a picnic in the rain on the side of the road - we failed to find a picnic table along the road. We always see them until you want one.

When we headed back to Franskraal the weather cleared up and it was time for a swim in the sea - this time we braved the ocean via some rock pools and avoided the waves at the beach.

Sunday was a lazy morning spent sleeping in, drinking coffee and a beach walk before heading home after lunch.

 

 

 

 

All in all it was a GRAND weekend with my mom and brother. I really am blessed to have them in my life.

xKx

Buying make up...

Two weekends ago David and I popped into Tygervalley Mall to look for something. We "happened" to walk past a make up store when David said "you can get makeup for the wedding". His brother is getting married on 21 March and I need to get make up because I'm a bridesmaid. Make up really is not my thing.. I really don't have time to apply the stuff to my face and I also don't get the point of it... but yes, I do need to get some so I'm not a white blob or incredibly shiny in the photos.


We walked in to the shop, I was pretending to know what I'm doing when really I had no clue. A sales assistant asked if I needed help and I quickly said, "I'm just looking". Those ladies intimidate me with how they are so well made up. After a few minutes of "not knowing what I am doing..." David called over a sales assistant. She asked me what make up I usually use and I said, "this is it." and pointed at my naked face. I then explained I need to buy makeup for a wedding and would like to have my make up as natural as possible. I then showed her my make up on my wedding day. 20 minutes after showing her the picture she had literally recreated the natural look I had on my wedding day. I was like "WOW!"  It's a good thing David was watching to he can help me recreate the look....


She then put everything into the basket I had and added a couple of brushes and eye shadow putter on things and I was sent off to the till. R300 later - which I think is a pretty good deal compared to make up that comes with the 'labels" and I am now set for the wedding in two weeks time.


Now to practice putting all the make up on and what I plan to do with my hair and I'm sure the morning will go smoothly when it's time to get dressed up.

xKx

When did destruction become ok?

This morning when I woke up I heard on the radio how the students who were protesting at UCT about how there is not enough accommodation for students had set alight a Jammie Shuttle, (the bus UCT uses to transport students to different campus's), as well as set alight a car, burnt some paintings that were in two of the res's and stoned a bus. When I heard this I was completely shocked that people could do something like this. 


When did violence and vandalism become ok? When did setting things on fire and destroying things become ok as a method of proving a point or showing you disagree with something?


When I got to work this morning I saw this on News 24 http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/uct-to-suspend-protesting-students-will-file-criminal-charges-20160217


I really hope that UCT follows through with the criminal charges. They need to show the rest of the students that you can't go around destroying things because you don't like the way things currently are. I remember when I was still studying, like forever ago that if there wasn't space in res for someone they would rent an apartment, do flat share or move into a digs. I don't understand why students should demand res accommodation from the university, let alone be destructive about it. I also know for a fact if we did something like that we would have been expelled, which is also what I really hope UCT follows through with their threats - these students need to learn that they still have to respect things that don't belong to them even when they are protesting about something they don't like.

xKx

Valentines Day

When it comes to Valentines Day I often just roll my eyes and say it's a ridiculous day. Deep down I am a romantic at heart and I really do like doing romantic things and being swept off my feet by romance BUT when it comes to this day of the year I can't help but roll my eyes. The main reason I get irritated by this day is because it puts so much pressure on guys to perform on this day, to pull out all the stops to make their special girl feel extra special and loved. The shops are full of super expensive flowers, (why must they triple in price???), cards and chocolates. The radio and TV is full of adverts about taking your girlfriend or wife out to a restaurant for supper or going to the beach to watch the sunset ect. etc. What I think should be done on Valentines day is that if you want to celebrate it and do something to make your significant other feel loved and special is to do something that fills their love tank. Do something that they will like, listen to what they don't like about the day and then do something they would like and that makes them feel loved and fills their love tank.


This year David totally blew me away with what he had planned for Valentines day. He planned a picnic in our Garden and my favourite movie. He projected it onto a sheet hanging in the garden. The most special thing about this was that I felt like really heard me when I said I don't want to do what everyone else does for Valentines day. He also did something he wanted to do with me in our garden for a while. He also spoke right to my heart and filled my love tank by spending quality time with me.

 

 

I didn't plan something as wonderful as David planned. I booked a table at Rhodes Memorial because it was the place that it all began again for us four years ago. It's the place David chose when we went on our "first" date on 24 September 2012.

 

To sum up my Valentines day this year, I think it was the best ever!

xKx

 

27 for Freedom Race

On Saturday, Terri and I did the 5km option of the 27 for Freedom Race, out in Paarl.

The race was a bit random in the sense that it was supposed to be 5km but it was actually 6.2km and it had two water points. I used Strava to record the time and speed of our running and when it said "5km" and we were no where near the end Terri and I were sooooo confused. This also messed with my head a bit because I was mentally prepared for a 5km so the last kilometre was super hard for me and I stopped like a 100 times. I promise I am fitter than that... I also blame the heat for that last kilometre. I took serious strain.


This 5km was the fastest I have ever run - I think that's because Terri kind of set the pace, except for the last kilometre. She's a lot faster than me and fitter. I now know what it feels like to run at the speed I want to eventually reach.

The best part of this race was running with my bestie, as well as the drive there and back. It gave us LOTS of time to chitter chat about life and everything in between.

xKx

Bye - Bye Facebook

For a while now I've been thinking about and discussing how I want to deactivate my Facebook account. The main reason for wanting to deactivate it was because it stole so much time from my life. I would spend tons of time scrolling through pictures, watching videos and reading random stuff that didn't add any value to my life at all - I would say that it did, but the reality is that it didn't really. I would often discuss with David how I don't want it because I waste so much time on it but then I would be scared of missing out, also know as FOMO and then not do it. For the past few weeks I had deleted it off my phone which meant I would read a real book on the bus and not waste the time of Facebook, but it never really solved the problem of wasting time in general.

This morning while I was on the bus I was thinking about the whole Facebook thing and how it really impacts my life. Besides the standard - it helps me stay connected with family and friends overseas argument, it doesn't really benefit my life in all. I also don't think it impacts it positively either. If I really want to connect with family and friends overseas I can email them or Skype them - I have other mediums of technology available to me, which makes my argument null and void.

I find that Facebook steals real life connecting time from me with my husband. I would spend time on Facebook when I could be talking to him. I think I often look at Facebook before I even say good morning to him... this is not good for connection in marriage. I decided that this needed to change and the only way to do that is to deactivate my account.

Another reason I decided to activate my account is I would get SUPER annoyed with what I would see. At the moment there's a lot of racist , white privilege, and let's slate our president and ruling party posts. This makes me really angry when I see this. As a Christian I am called to honour the people who are in charge - no matter what they do. When I see other Christian people jumping on this band wagon of posts I get really angry. I also don't want to see stuff like that.

I also get annoyed with all the random stuff Facebook makes me look at like adverts. If I want to look at adverts for things I'll go and look. I really don't need anymore temptations to buy shoes etc. from Zando.

The third and last reason why I've deactivated my account it how it sparks gossip. I saw a post by a friend yesterday that got me  questioning something. I then discussed it with David and after thinking about what we spoke about and what I said I was left questioning if it was gossip. I've also started conversations of "I saw on Facebook.... " or been in conversations with people where it starts like that, which could be classified as gossip. I don't like gossip and I certainly want to remove a source of gossip from my life, which is why I decided to deactivate it.

I may let FOMO get the better of me and reactivate my account later today, next week or next month... but for right now I don't want it anymore.

xKx

 

Babies - Babies - Babies

This week has been a pretty epic week in that three people I know gave birth to their babies. All three babies came a few weeks early - it's like they just wanted to come out and meet everyone in the world.

On Monday morning, Nuzhat gave birth to Ninja Noah. Ninja is not his name, it's what we're calling him until the naming ceremony on Saturday. I'm pretty excited to meet this little boy.

On Tuesday afternoon, Anne - David's step sister gave birth to Nathan. We went to visit him on Wednesday evening. He is just the cutest little thing ever.

It was also really special to watch Haley, his older sister interact with him and ask her parents if she could hold her little brother. When we arrived George was like "you can hold him", which I did. He was sooooo tiny and light.

On Wednesday afternoon, Chaana had Isabella. She was in the same hospital as Anne so we got to pop in and visit Cha and see her brand new bundle of "baby-ness". When we arrived Cha also said that I can hold her. When I tried to scoop her up I was soooo scared I would break her, but I think babies are a lot more resilient than we think. When I held Isabella it was the most amazing thing ever. This little bundle was literally brand new and everything was there in the right place, her hair and nails and little feet. Meeting Isabella was also pretty special because Cha has been sending us pictures of her ultra sounds and keeping us updated about her progress. It's like we already knew her before we had even met her.

During the whole drive home I was thinking about how God has designed us in such a way to carry a baby, but also how He is able to take two cells and then mould them into a whole person. Not only does He put your body together perfectly but He makes you with SUCH love and with a planned adventure for your life filled with so much purpose. It's amazing!

xKx

Egg Donation - Another form of human trafficking?

While we were in Franskraal I decided to buy a Cosmopolitan magazine, (Cosmopolitan, January 2016, volume 32, number 11), for beach reading. One of the articles in the magazine was on how women in South Africa mostly aged between 18 - 25 years old are getting exploited for the eggs. When I read this I was like "Pardon?" 

The article started the same as most of the stories that I've read about people getting exploited. They made a friend who told them about this opportunity. In this situation is was how you as a women could earn some extra money by donating your eggs. This "market" has grown from the increase in couples who can't fall pregnant wanting babies. The increase in safe abortions and people using contraceptives have decreased the number of children up for adoption. When I read this, I was like where are people looking to adopt. There are thousands of children world wide who want forever homes through adoption.

To jump along in the story, you've been told about an amazing opportunity to donate your eggs in Indai for a free holiday, while donating your eggs. The first step of the process is to give you hormones so that you start producing more eggs than the one you naturally produce a month. The second part of the process is where the eggs get removed from you. In situations like this, you are given way to many hormones and produced too many eggs for your body, which has then been extracted from you. This is harmful to your body and illegal. Legally only  certain number of eggs may be donated over a certain number of months and you can't be paid for donating eggs, (can't be paid for human life).

I read this article after I had just finished going through Dressember and reading up on human trafficking. Is this another form of human trafficking? Women are being lured by free luxuriant holidays and the only thing they need to do is donate some eggs. Little do they know they're going to be donating a lot eggs, being exploited to satisfy a demand for something without knowing the dangers of it.  Just a thought...

xKx

2016 - The Adventure Continues

WOW! We're almost halfway through 2016 - how did that happen. Ok, I am exaggerating a little but before we know it, it'll be the end of the month....

This year started off quietly in Franskraal with a couple of friends. David and I went up just before new years to run a 10km race. We thought it was a road race but half way through it turned into a trail run - I was so not prepared for that but we pushed on and finished it. The rest of the time up there was spent at the beach swimming, body boarding - this requires a full costume as a bikini is not safe in the waves, eating good food, colouring in and hanging out with my Noo and friends. We got home three days before I started work. The first two days were were spent laying in the sun, swimming and eating water melon and the last day was spent with my mom and brother. David and my brother painted his plane together - oh how it makes my heart happy when they do things together.

When we planned the trip up to Franskraal we decided not to do touristy things and just be on holiday there and enjoy the beach - I think it was the best idea yet. It's day two of being back at work and I want the lazy, sunny beach days back.

Here are some pictures of our holidays....

 

 

xKx