Feeling a litte despondent

The past few weeks at work have been pretty tough.. and it's hard to keep shining Gods light when there is a certain person in my office who belittles me, shouts at me when I ask questions, when I get things wrong. He speaks to me like I'm stupid and treats me almost like a child. 

I really try to keep being nice and polite to him, I don't always get it right and roll my eyes when he's talking to me - especially when he speaks to me like I'm two years old and really stupid.  It's been getting super hard to just love him like Jesus would want me to love him and to show him grace, patience and kindness.  

It's getting harder to pray for him because I'm so angry and bitter towards him. I try to give it to God, but then I come to work and he's mean and it starts all over again. 

Today I kind of had enough and was like I'm over this.  He asked me to set up a meeting and I asked him if it should be at our offices or theirs and he shouted, "I don't know, I don't know, it's not my job" without looking at me.  I looked at him calmly, even though I literally wanted to punch him and shout "YOU ASKED ME TO SET UP THE MEETING" and said, "I'll set it up for our offices".  I then walked back to my desk and emailed everyone.  As I walked back to my desk, I was like "I'm done. I don't want to be nice to you anymore and I won't" He came up to later to ask me to send something for printing and I never looked up from the filing I was doing and just said yes.  When he asked what he had on his calendar, I looked and told him as plainly as possible. 

I know as a Christian I need to be shining God's light and loving people - but I really don't know how to do it with him. I try and be nice and he keeps being mean, some days on a whole new level.  A few minutes a go, well half an hour ago I decided to pray because I was so angry.  I just told God how I was feeling and how I give up.  I told him how this one person makes me feel so despondent about coming to work and being here. I told God how I don't think I can do this being nice and loving thing anymore. 

And then God was like...

 

He then gently reminded me that He is in control, he's my strength and refuge. He can renew my despondency and give me hope again. He can show me how to keep loving, showing grace and practicing patience. 

 

And I was like...

 

YIP!

 

Working here is hard at times, but God has put me here for such a time as this.  I just need to refocus on Him and let him relight the fire so I can keep shining.

 

xKx