Love Laguages

Over the last while I've been a bit stressed about love languages and "speaking" David's love language. I would work myself up to the point where I thought I was failing at everything if I wasn't getting it right. I read the five love languages book by Gary Chapman for ideas and help - which it did, but at the end of the day I was still getting horribly worked up about getting Dave love language right.

Lets back up and define what  love languages are. Love languages is expressing love to someone in a way that they understand and receive love. There are five; Acts of service, Gifts, Quality time, Words of affirmation and Physical touch. Most people have a dominant love language, if they don't receive love in their language the will feel anxious and as though they are not loved by you. No pressure to get this right :-).

I have discovered that this is true, when my love language isn't being spoken to me I do feel anxious and unloved but I have learnt that NOT everyone speaks your love language or knows what it is. They may use one of the others and you need to learn to receive that from them and be ok with it. I'm not saying that them not speaking your love langue is ok. It's still important that they do - but you have the responsibility to communicate your need/love language to them so that they know how to show you love.

When I came to this understanding, I was like "sjoe" and I was able to take some of the pressure off me and just love Dave the best I can, in all the different love languages I speak instead of just the one, but not forgetting to give extra attention to speaking words of affirmation.

This also helped with other relationships I have and showing my friends love and the kids at Gap and Teen church love. It really has helped go that one step deeper and helped to connect with people. It's been an interesting journey this - learning love languages and showing people love in a way that they understand.

xKx