Valentines Day

When it comes to Valentines Day I often just roll my eyes and say it's a ridiculous day. Deep down I am a romantic at heart and I really do like doing romantic things and being swept off my feet by romance BUT when it comes to this day of the year I can't help but roll my eyes. The main reason I get irritated by this day is because it puts so much pressure on guys to perform on this day, to pull out all the stops to make their special girl feel extra special and loved. The shops are full of super expensive flowers, (why must they triple in price???), cards and chocolates. The radio and TV is full of adverts about taking your girlfriend or wife out to a restaurant for supper or going to the beach to watch the sunset ect. etc. What I think should be done on Valentines day is that if you want to celebrate it and do something to make your significant other feel loved and special is to do something that fills their love tank. Do something that they will like, listen to what they don't like about the day and then do something they would like and that makes them feel loved and fills their love tank.


This year David totally blew me away with what he had planned for Valentines day. He planned a picnic in our Garden and my favourite movie. He projected it onto a sheet hanging in the garden. The most special thing about this was that I felt like really heard me when I said I don't want to do what everyone else does for Valentines day. He also did something he wanted to do with me in our garden for a while. He also spoke right to my heart and filled my love tank by spending quality time with me.

 

 

I didn't plan something as wonderful as David planned. I booked a table at Rhodes Memorial because it was the place that it all began again for us four years ago. It's the place David chose when we went on our "first" date on 24 September 2012.

 

To sum up my Valentines day this year, I think it was the best ever!

xKx

 

Love Laguages

Over the last while I've been a bit stressed about love languages and "speaking" David's love language. I would work myself up to the point where I thought I was failing at everything if I wasn't getting it right. I read the five love languages book by Gary Chapman for ideas and help - which it did, but at the end of the day I was still getting horribly worked up about getting Dave love language right.

Lets back up and define what  love languages are. Love languages is expressing love to someone in a way that they understand and receive love. There are five; Acts of service, Gifts, Quality time, Words of affirmation and Physical touch. Most people have a dominant love language, if they don't receive love in their language the will feel anxious and as though they are not loved by you. No pressure to get this right :-).

I have discovered that this is true, when my love language isn't being spoken to me I do feel anxious and unloved but I have learnt that NOT everyone speaks your love language or knows what it is. They may use one of the others and you need to learn to receive that from them and be ok with it. I'm not saying that them not speaking your love langue is ok. It's still important that they do - but you have the responsibility to communicate your need/love language to them so that they know how to show you love.

When I came to this understanding, I was like "sjoe" and I was able to take some of the pressure off me and just love Dave the best I can, in all the different love languages I speak instead of just the one, but not forgetting to give extra attention to speaking words of affirmation.

This also helped with other relationships I have and showing my friends love and the kids at Gap and Teen church love. It really has helped go that one step deeper and helped to connect with people. It's been an interesting journey this - learning love languages and showing people love in a way that they understand.

xKx